Bagged
07.30.08 (2:34 pm) [edit]I've been pretty bagged lately. It turns out I don't have a cold, I have viral pneumonia. Not to be confused with bacterial pneumonia, viral pneumonia is actually pretty mild and has no treatment course other than just resting. I've been resting and I still have the cough, the lung tightness but the shortness of breath is going away. I think it's on the mend now...or will be soon.
I had viral pneumonia a couple of years ago and recognize the symptoms and the shortness of breath. Basically it's a little different than a cold because there's a bit of a fever, dizziness and difficulty breathing. There's also no sinus involvement but lots of headaches.
In the meantime, I have been a little quieter and a little more subdued but I'm still going out with the dog for walks in the evenings. I am still eating, though less. I also notice that I have a pretty dry hacking cough that won't go away and every once in a while causes me to cough up a big wad of goo. I suspect that in another week I'll be better. It just has to run its course and it cannot be rushed.
If the whole thing turns out to be something different or worse, I'll know because I'll get a high fever. So far I've only had a lowgrade fever and it went away after the first couple of days. Fevers are a sign that there's a real problem. I don't mess around with fevers, but everything else is fine. As long as I can breathe and don't feel ill I'm good.
Much Better Mood
07.17.08 (4:09 pm) [edit]I'm in a much better mood today. Not talking to my mom makes me very happy. I actually was telling my husband yesterday that I had been approaching this whole "move to New Mexico" thing the wrong way. Instead of viewing "being away from family" as a down-side to the whole thing, I should be looking at it as a perk of the whole situation!
I mean I know I wouldn't have my mom there to help me out with things, but I'd also be left alone to enjoy my peace and quiet, without having to deal with all the bullshit. I think it would be good for me. Of course that probably won't happen for a while, if at all so it's more of a daydream right now! Still it's nice to daydream about being away from family.
Wow they did it again.
07.16.08 (1:38 pm) [edit]Yesterday I was talking on the phone with my mom about my cousin. My cousin just separated from her husband and is going to be going through a divorce. I had emailed my cousin to tell her that I know what it's like to go through that and that I'm here for her if she needs anything. She was very appreciative. Anyway, I was talking on the phone with my mom and she says "Should we send a card?" I said "Why?" She said "Well to let her know we're supportive?"
Seriously? SERIOUSLY???
My own parents when I went through my divorce said this: "It's clearly YOUR fault and so we aren't going to help you move, help you with any money or help you in any way." For all they know I was being beaten to a pulp but the embarrassment of a Catholic being divorced was more important. The humiliation my FATHER would suffer if I was to divorce. He even said that. "This will be a huge embarrassment to your whole family!!"
Now they're sending fucking cards to my cousin so she knows how supportive they are. What a crock of shit. What a total lie. What a complete load of crap. How fucking dare they. They scar me for life at every opportunity, but they don't let anyone else know how horrible they are. They still go to my ex-husband as a fucking mechanic because "Well we have no beef with him!" You fucking unsupportive asshole. I hope you drop dead fucker.
New Bras
07.14.08 (5:22 pm) [edit]I got my new bras today from Victoria's Secret. They're very nice. I tried them on and they fit, but they're not as comfortable as the current size I'm wearing. I will be another couple of weeks before I'm ready to switch over. However, it's getting very close. I did try on the DD bra and it was sort of bizarre to see myself as that busty. Weird. For now the D cup will be fine, but I'm literally aware of growth pain daily so I suspect that it won't be long before I need to switch.
Slowly Tattooing
07.09.08 (1:58 am) [edit]So I'm slowly getting set up for tattooing. It seems that everything I do I seem to do slowly and this is no different! I have ordered some more supplies but I'm getting down to the last few items I need to get started. In fact I believe that I have everything today that I need...just a few things I *want* as well.
I ordered some small spray bottles from Amazon.com. They have these nice small bottles that will be great for green soap, alcohol and water (each one separately). I hadn't been able to find anything smaller than a 1 litre spray bottle here in town, which is fine for working at home, but not so good if I am travelling to someone's house to do a tattoo. I wanted smaller, lighter bottles that wouldn't take up all the space in the carrying case I have yet to buy!
My husband ordered some Vitamin A/D ointment for putting on tattoos right at the end before covering up with gauze. They don't carry it at our drugstore and had never heard of it. That was a little scary to hear that they'd never heard of it before. It's like "aren't YOU the medical professionals?" ; It's a great product that I won't compromise on getting for my customers, so I ordered some online and it will arrive soon (hopefully).
I ordered some "UV ink" too. UV Ink is actually "uv-reactant" ink which glows when put under a black light. It comes in many expensive colours but I just got a bottle of white (1/2 ounce) so I can do some hand tattoos on myself. The white ink doesn't really show once it's been tattooed in. The only way to see the tattoo is to put it under a black light. I'm going to tattoo a reiki healing symbol on my hand...and maybe some words on my knuckles! We'll see how visible the palm tattoo turns out before I decide if I'll do my knuckles. The point is that all the tattoos that are for me personally will probably be done in this "invisible" glowing black light ink. I may cover my body with my dog's footprints if it works out well enough!
Today in tattooing news I finally got my left sleeve designed. I should say that it's roughed out. I've done some sketching. Basically I have nailed down what I think (and my husband thinks) is a fantastic design. It's going to be a Mardi Gras piece that celebrates my love of New Orleans and Mardi Gras. It's going to have a mardi gras mask, beads and some background greywork that should really make it incredible.
The ideas for my sleeve have been rattling around in my head now for about six months. I was sitting at the table today when the image of what I wanted literally popped into my head and then it was crystal clear. It's funny how suddenly your mind can just put it all together for you. Anyway, now that I know what I want, I'm going to spend a lot of time tweaking/fixing/modifying the image to get it to where I want to get my tattooist to look at it.
Also, I have to save up some money before I go back with something huge like a sleeve. I think my next tattoo will just be a little devil girl by Richard Tate (flash artist)...nothing too fancy, but something that's important to me because I gave the same image to a friend of mine in tattoo school. It was my favourite tattoo of that week and I promised him I'd get one just like it and email it to him!
New Mexico
07.07.08 (6:15 pm) [edit]Something interesting has happened to my husband since he came home from New Mexico. I believe that New Mexico is now in his blood! It's the same thing that happened to me after I went to New Orleans. Some places just feel like a second home don't they?
Anyway, my husband has been talking more and more about New Mexico, but not in a reminiscent way. Rather, he's talking about it like a destination that he'd like to move to...like he's not finished with the place. I think it would be incredibly weird if he was to get hired to work down there...but I'd be happy to live somewhere else for a while.
Life is all about experiences as far as I can see. We're not meant to cloister ourselves away and just grow old and stale. We're supposed to learn about the world around us...get out and see things as much as we can. Having MS has lit a fire under my ass because I have no idea if I'll be able to walk in a few more years. Knowing you could lose your mobility tends to make you want to be as mobile as possible while you can. At least that's been my experience. I push myself daily to do as much as I can to learn and grow. If I ever end up wheelchair-bound I want to feel like I've done enough wonderful things in my life that it's not such a huge deal that I can no longer walk.
So if my husband gets offered a job in Albuquerque I am happy to go along. In some ways he's lucky I no longer work...it gives us the freedom to follow his job if we so desire. If I was still working I'd have to quit or stay here in Canada. We'll see what happens but either way it's exciting to be considering such a weird move...even if it's only in "daydream" mode right now. :)
Prolactin Update
07.04.08 (2:12 pm) [edit]I've been taking prolactin ("Bountiful Breast" supplement) for my MS for about two years now. I should have written down when I first started taking it because I'm not as clear on the date when I started. I think it was August two years ago...so not quite two years yet. Anyway, prolactin is supposed to slow/stop/fix MS in mice and they are testing it with human subjects. They've also shown that other hormones besides prolactin can have this affect. They are testing with testosterone as well and so far are having positive results.
Prolactin is the "pregnancy/puberty hormone" which causes breast growth. Clearly this is the intent of the product (as evidenced by the name) but if it helps me with my MS, I don't care if it makes my boobs bigger...I wanted bigger boobs anyway! So as far as an update goes, I just ordered my DD bras. I am currently wearing a D bra, but it's starting to feel a tad snug at the underwire. That's a sign you need to up-cup! I will continue to wear the D bras as long as they fit, but something else has happened which leads me to believe that the D bras will be gone soon...I lost weight.
My back strap is a 36...it's been that size since I was about 14 years old. But recently I have started to lose weight and now all the back straps are feeling loose. This also happens as a bra ages and is washed...the elastic gets old and loses its recoil. Eventually all bras become too loose in the back strap, which is why they give you those extra hooks. You're supposed to start out on the widest setting and gradually pull into the tightest setting. The truth is that you should never go beyond the second hooks because by that point you distort the shape of your bra/cleavage. If you are at the third set of hooks, you need a new bra!
Why I felt the need to go on about that I have no idea! Anyway, my back strap is feeling very loose on my bras these days...especially the nude one (which I wear more often because it does't show). I ordered some new bras from Victoria's Secret (they're having a great bra sale) and so I guess when they arrive I'll be ready to switch out the nude bra for the new nude bra!
Considering that I was between an A and a B cup when I started this experiment, it's been pretty successful for growing boobs. I have less success to report so far on the MS front, but the good news is that I don't think I've progressed much further in the last two years either. I can't say that the prolactin is helping, but it doesn't seem to be hurting and might be helping in the long run. I'll keep taking it on the off chance that it is actually doing something. I suspect it will take years to affect the MS in a way that I notice. I suspect though that it is working behind the scenes. I'm willing to give it at least five years before I call it a success or failure.
Back
07.03.08 (5:29 pm) [edit]I'm back...our internet crapped out because of a line card problem. Anyway, it's fixed now and we're back online. That was a rough couple of days. I practically live on the internet!