Wolfen's Blog

Funny implant story

A girl I knew from work had a very flat chest.  She was insecure about it and got implants.  I just added her to my facebook account.  Wow.  I couldn't even believe how crazy her photos are now.  First of all, ten years has aged her considerably.  She doesn't look too good...a little rough.  So she was always a very pretty girl, and she's still pretty, but aging and partying has left her looking well-used.  Also, these crazy implants she has are just SO outrageously silly looking.  It makes me really glad I never did it.  I really considered it.  I know I'm still going to take prolactin breast englarging pills, but that's really on the hope that it will fix the MS damage I have.  The end result of prolactin supplements is a real boob, not a boob with a silicone or saline bag inside.  It looks real too as you age. 

Anyway, as I look at this girl's life and her crazy silly boobs, I realize something.  She's a stupid girl.  P!NK was right.  I like the girl, she's very sweet...but oh man, what a poor decision she made.  And now she looks rough...and slutty.  I realize that the look of freshness and youth is far more attractive than the glow off a shiny silicone blob.  In the end I believe she is the one that looks old...and though my boobs may not be huge, nobody ever mistook me for a cheap whore.

Sunny Friday

What a gorgeous day it is in Eastern Ontario today...a sunny, warm spring day.  I spent a lot of time outside today, just enjoying the weather and not really doing too much.  I sit outside on the lawn furniture and read magazines (Tattoo Magazine) in the sun.  The chipmunks get used to me being there and then they come and eat the leftover bird food that we put outside.  The bird food leftover from my parrot goes outside everyday and so the chipmunks and squirrels have gotten quite spoiled and healthy from all the vitamins and fortified kibbles they eat!  They come and eat while I read.  It's really amazing to watch them.  So incredibly cute. 

Dull

Last night I had to take extra THC for that migrainey feeling.  Now I feel a bit dull.  It's been a few hours since the extra THC has left my system and so I'm kind of mushed out.  Anyone who's ever smoked pot knows that feeling.

Today I'm going to go outside and do some garden prep for the coming year's season.  I need to trim a few plants and hopefully I'll get some sweeping done too.  The rock out front gets covered in stuff over the winter so sweeping really makes a big difference on how the place looks.  As I've mentioned, I'm picky about the place looking decent.  So I don't like to wait too long after the thaw before I get out there and do what I can.

I have two Tattoo mags to catch up on.  I need to sit outside in the nice weather and read them.  So basically I plan to go outside for the afternoon.  YAY, fresh air!

Mom day

What a day it's been.  My mom came by to help me out with some housework.  She's in her seventies, so needless to say I didn't feel too great about allowing her to vacuum my house.  She insists on helping because we haven't been able to find a cleaning service.  Until we do, it's too much work for my husband, who works about 60 hours per week at his job, to keep this place as nice as I like it...so my mom helps out.  The MS makes it hard for me to clean the house on a regular basis.  When it gets a little rough looking my mom shows up with her vacuum and just kind of comes on in and stays for the afternoon.

So today was a mom day and now I'm totally exhausted.  There's something about having someone in my home rummaging through my stuff that can really sap the energy out of me.  Then my dad came by.  Do you know that he had the audacity to brag about all the new features of the car he's going to pick up on Friday.  I felt like saying "Remember how much I let you brag about your car before I got out and get mine."  He's going to shit all over the Mustang when I get it and rather than just be happy for me he's going to feel the need to smear his opinion all in my face and lecture me about the price of gas and the efficiency of an eight cylinder engine.  Talk to the hand buddy.  I know the score.  I also know that the "other" car will be some crazy fuel-efficient hippy mobile so I'm not worried about my karmic debt.  The thing is with dad is that he's not actually concerned about any of those things, he just hates the idea of me in a Mustang.  It's like "So go out and buy one for yourself and stop telling me I can't have one!"

Anyway, sorry to kvetch about that again.  He just has some nerve sometimes.  Talking about all the crazy bells and whistles on his new car but God forbid any of his kids get a car that's cooler than he has.  Everyone should drive a fucking minivan, right dad?  I can't wait to offer him a tattoo.

Pink

Lately I'm obsessing about Pink.  I really love her song "Cuz I Can".  Specifically these lines:

Hahaha
We're gonna rock and roll
Ra Ra
Alright I drink more than you
I party harder than you do
And my car's faster than yours too

P I N K
P I M P
I'm back again
I know ya'll missed me
I'm so so sick
Can't handle it
Yeah I talk shit
Just deal with it

You know I'm rare
You stop and stare
You think I care
I don't
You talk real loud
But you aint saying nothing cool
I could fit your whole house in my swimming pool

I like the fact that she's very genuine.  I like that in a musician.  I also love her "extreme girl power" thing.  I mean if you're a woman, you should respect Pink for what she is, and what she believes in...she's looking out for us chicks and even if you don't like her music, you have to appreciate her concern with women becoming vapid barbie dolls.  It's a concern of mine too.  She may seem rough but she's got a lot more heart than most singers.

Monday Migraine

The Past is an Old Shoe

I think that being adopted and having no real information as to my real heritage or lineage has given me a different take on life.  I find that many people like to look back over their lives or the lives of their ancestors and try to make them live again by telling stories or tales.  Many people concern themselves with the things that have already come to pass.  I think that my perspective must be a little different and I can only surmise that it's from having no personal past which I can reference.  My perspective seems to always be forward-facing.  I consider my past just that...old news.  Yesterday's old news.  I move on and change almost constantly.  Gemini.

I am in my thirties.  I have had a full life and I've lived with MS for about six years now.  If there was anyone who would have good reason to settle into talking about the glory days, it's me.  My friends my age are all talking about their lives in the past now too.  It should fit that I would start thinking that way as well.  But I don't.  I see my life as still unfolding in front of me.  I am not even half way through and there are so many things left to do, if I want to.

I think part of that thinking comes from having kids.  People who have kids seem to need to stop living while they raise their kids, but by the time that's done many people are so settled into their lives that they don't even care about what they really wanted to do or what they might still do.  They're thinking about retirement and becoming a "snow bird" or whatever other lame retirement activity they can come up with.  Life has this way of sweeping by without you ever getting around to doing what you REALLY want to do. 

I find it weird.  People around me are aging.  I am not.  That's how it feels.  I hope they can stop themselves from aging prematurely.  I plan on never growing old.

Terror Eyes and stuff

I got my Terror Eyes in the mail yesterday.  They're coloured contact lenses that were extremely inexpensive.  They're only guaranteed for a year after opening, but that's fine.  I'm good with that.  I'll disinfect them really well and wear them for as many times as I can. 

I have many pair of coloured contact lenses, but these new ones are the freakiest.  One pair is white with a black rim (a la Marilyn Manson) and the second pair is pink with a black rim.  I really look forward to trying them both on, but I'll wait unti I'm going somewhere before I try them.  Don't want to start the clock on that warranty before I need to. 

Another thing that came in the mail were my LAMB sweatpants.  My husband bought them new off eBay so they're not expensive even if they were made by Gwen Stefani.  They're really comfy and really well made.  If she makes sweatpants this well I can just imagine what those Norma Jeans will be like that I bought from her.  Those were off eBay too!  EBay rocks.

I'm still waiting for my prolactin supplements.  I hate how slow the mail can be sometimes.  I'm sure it's not the fault of the post office, they're actually pretty efficient; it's usually customs that slows things down.  I don't know what the state of beef relations are between Canada and the US but if we're boycotting each other's beef products, my pills might never arrive.  Somehow I think we're not in that situation though.  It's my understanding that beef currently travels freely between countries.  Hopefully the pills arrive before they change their minds again!  "Bovine Ovary Supplement" might slip by some customs officers, but I suspect that more often than not it would be cause for investigation.

Dentist

Well I went to the dentist yesterday for my three year check up!  Okay I should be going every six months to a year, but I've been very busy!  Okay not really but my husband has been and he's the one who has to take a day off work and drive me to the dentist's office. 

So I told the dentist I was using a Sonicare toothbrush and he was not impressed.  His hygeinist told me that he hates new things!  Anyway, he wasn't impressed until he saw my x-rays.  I have a bad track record of getting cavities when I don't have fluoridated water.  Having gone three years without seeing him and living in an area where the water comes from my well he assumed I'd have pitting in my teeth and some gum disease from lazy brushing and lack of flossing.  Nope.  Instead he came back into the room and said "Well I may have been hasty with my Sonicare comment...it seems to work really well for you, and I can't argue with results."  His hygeinist told me that he must be pretty impressed for him to change his mind like that.  So despite skepticism, my dentist had to applaud my teeth and then he told me he wanted to see me in six months!  Mercedes are hard to afford without regular paying customers.

So my Sonicare toothbrush, which is worth about $200 but I bought brand new off eBay for $60 is actually doing what I bought it for.  It's replacing the floss.  When they flossed my teeth this time there was no blood.  There's almost always blood.  The hygeinist said that my teeth are so tight together she can understand why I don't floss.  I told her that it was because my arms get too tired and sore from the MS.  I literally find flossing too difficult is all.  So the Sonicare has replaced the floss...YAH!

Lutein and other building blocks

One of the amino acids that our bodies use is called Lutein.  It's like protein, but it's slightly different.  Its job is pretty simple.  Lutein grows elasticity in skin cells.  It also increases eye health and it prevents cataracts.  I've decided to try taking this stuff (assuming no horrifying side effects) with my daily pills.  My goal is to prevent wrinkles by maintaining my skin's elasticity. 

As we age our skin loses its ability to bounce back.  Why?  Because our bodies are no longer producing as much lutein as we age and so we get saggy.  I propose that if we take extra lutein as we age we should not lose as much of that elasticity as quickly.  It's just a theory.  But hey, if lutein is what makes skin elastic, then I'm all for taking it.  I want to be as stretchy as Elasticman!

If it doesn't do anything but keep me from getting cataracts, well I'm still ahead I figure.  It has absolutely no other effects according to the packaging.  Since our bodies only know how to do one thing with lutein, I figure it can't hurt.  I want to keep those wrinkles away if possible, but I really don't think that happens just by smearing some lotion on it.  You have to maintain the elasticity.  This will hopefully do that.

We picked some lutein up at the drugstore today and I will try it out for the first time tomorrow.  Kind of weird, but hey if it keeps me from wrinkling I'm all for it.

explanation

When I don't know what to say, sometimes I let someone else say it for me.  I really like what Bif Naked says in that poem.  It's very true...and it's funny!

It's not that I'm deep, it's that I'm lazy. :)

I couldn't have said it better myself.

"Eine Tasse Tee" - Bif Naked

All right this is my poem it's called eine tasse tee
Are you ready? all right!

Monday

It's really lame but I'm sort of too sick to post.  I've got a cold so I'm just popping in to say hi and then I'm going back to bed.  Colds always knock the crap out of me.  This one is really just beginning but the fatigue is already noticeable.  Bleh.

Sunday afternoon

Well it's a lazy afternoon here in the nation's Capital.  Ottawa is so quiet in March.  I guess if we were skiers it would be less quiet, but we're not so we just stay indoors.

My husband and I are having a mellow Sunday.  He's been so busy lately with courses and job interviews and work issues that I think it's important that he just relax and hang out today.  We're both just lazing around.  He's got his Xbox and I've got the laptop.  We're both geeking out in our own ways.

I'm so sleepy right now.  I actually don't even want to say this, but I think I may be coming down with cold number four.  I'm serious.  It's been a hell of a winter for me for colds and having three of them pretty much ate up my entire winter.  I was hoping I'd be done with them now that spring is here, but I guess not.  I'm really hoping it's just allergies or something, but the double sneezes give it away!  I only double sneeze when I'm getting a cold.

However, I'm not going to concentrate on the cold.  I'm so lucky to be in as good of health as I am that I really don't want to complain too much.  I could be much, MUCH sicker. As an MS patient, I'm very lucky to still be able to walk and the fact that I haven't needed my cane in a long time is also a huge blessing so I'm not going to worry about even a fourth cold.

St. Patrick's Day or whatever

St. Patrick's Day is here.  People all over North America are drinking green beer in an attempt to be "Irish".  Have you noticed that all this holiday does is broadcast all the worst stereotypes of the Irish people all over the world.  I mean I'm sure the last thing the Irish want is to be thought of as drunk, singing, fighting lecherous slobs...but isn't that sort of what you think of when you think of the whole "green beer thing"...I don't think that if I was truly Irish and not just borrowing my heritage for the day that I would want to be portrayed that way.  I guess it's better than not having an entire day to yourself on the calendar.  We don't have a day for celebrating Madagascar so I guess the Irish should be happy, but I just can't help but wonder why it's all been reduced to this sort of lame gross holiday.

Anyway, instead of celebrating St. Patrick's Day today, my husband and I were catching up for Valentine's Day.  We were sick on Valentine's Day and today was the first day that we were able to finally make up for the missed romantic holiday.  I have to say that it was really nice having Valentine's Day when it was St. Pat's. 

My husband bought me a nice bracelet that I was so pleased about.  He also took me out for dinner for oysters on the halfshell.  I love oysters.  I seem to like a lot of raw fish products.  Anyway, we had these HUGE, meaty malpeque oysters.  Some of them were literally the size of the palm of my hand.  I felt like a big otter sitting there with a plate full of yummy oystery goodness in front of me.  We went through three dozen of these delicious mulluscs and then had bananas foster and bread pudding for dessert. 

I love eating like that.  Just a big plate of fish, some beer or ceasars and a napkin.  The oysters came with a side plate of a bottle of vodka with hot peppers steeping in it.  You could put as much vodka on the oysters as you wanted.  We wondered if people just drank the vodka because it was free with the oysters.  I managed to spill it on my sleeve.  It seemed like it was probably not a great quality vodka, but it still seemed funny that they brought an entire bottle of it!  My husband was very pleasantly surprised by this condiment and I nearly ended up driving as he was quite liberal with its use!

Anyway, it was a good day.  I smiled a lot and I can't remember the last time food tasted that good.

Sometimes

Sometimes I get this vague idea that my dreams, which I can almost never remember because of drugs, are actually really important.  I feel like they're prophetic and almost religious in their powerfulness.  Then there are days when I think that dreams are just your brain's way of filing information and though they don't often make sense, they usually don't mean anything and aren't worth remembering.

I really feel like my world is about to change.  I know it's the THC I'm on just telling me that everything is going to be fantastic, but sometimes I can't help but believe the THC.  I feel like I'm about to recapture myself somehow.  Like remembering something I forgot about a long time ago.  It's like years of being pummelled into society's idea of what I should be has left me unpassionate and listless.  As I tear off all of that conditioning I'm realizing who I really am in some ways for the first time in a long time.  Like I said, the THC does a lot of the talking around here!

Something that fascinates me is the balance between good and evil.  I feel like the balance hasn't been achieved thus far in my life.  I've been far too good or far too evil, but have had problems blending the two.  I am endlessly interested in why this is and why I seem to swing back and forth from one to the other. 

I suspect that I have a twin somewhere in this world, even if I will probably never know.  I was adopted and so I don't know very much about myself except what Children's Aid has given me to know.  The papers they gave me say that I am almost identical to my mother and they never mention twins, but I have most of my adult life suspected that I might have one.  Who knows, maybe I'll run into her someday.

In the absence of any real knowledge about my birth parents, I have created an elaborate alternate reality where I'm Mick Jagger's bastard child and that instead of having my lineage follow my bloodlines (of which I am ignorant) it follows my name...the name I was given by my adoptive parents.  Basically I have no idea who I am and it's kind of liberating.  I have no baggage associated with my ancestry.  I also feel absolutely no inclination to be interested.  The way I see it is this, when Children's Aid doesn't tell you anything about your history or your heritage it's a unique opportunity to create your own.  I don't need to know the truth because it will never be as great as the not knowing has been.  Like I said, I can be Mick Jagger's illegitimate child or I can find out the truth.  Personally I'd rather make it all up as I go.

That's Life

"Thats life with me. I know.
Around and around you will go.
But, if I french kiss you
in the broad daylight,
you'll fall in love..oh,oh,oh.
That's life with me. I know."

It FINALLY Arrived!

Guess what arrived today?  My Tattoo Magazine!  I mean I've been getting Skin Deep for three months now, but finally Tattoo Magazine has sent the first issue.  Just to clarify, I ordered them at the same time and I am three months ahead on Skin Deep, which has to come from overseas.  Skin Deep is also less expensive and made of much higher quality stock paper.  However, they are both cool publications for different reasons, and I'm glad that I finally got my second subscription.

Skin Deep is a publication from the UK.  It's got a very UK feeling to it, which I like.  The Tattoo Magazine is much more American feeling publication.  I can't explain exactly what the difference is, but it's there.  It means that there is no overlap in the two magazines.  One covers British sub-culture and the other is more of a "bikery" feeling magazine.  I must say that even though Skin Deep presents more "freaks" in its pages, I actually feel more comfortable with that lifestyle than the biker lifestyle, but I'll get used to both as I read more. 

It gives me an idea that I can "specialize" in doing UK style tattoos or American style tattoos, but I can see now how even though you might be able to do both, you may need to pick a style that you will concentrate on because what appeals to one subculture may not appeal to the other.  For example, body mods.  Bikers like piercings, but not so much on the body mods that include tongue splitting, implants and ear hole enlarging.  In the UK, tattoos are still considered kind of freaky so you tend to see people with tattoos who also have other "freaky" things going on.  In the US tattoos are much more mainstream but you still see them on a lot of bikers and prisoners, so they have more of a "bad boy" image that goes with them.  In the UK tattoos are not so much "bad" as they are "freaky".  That's my synopsis so far.  I'll let you know more as I read both publications.

I took both magazines on a year subscription.  I already know I'll be renewing the Skin Deep subscription and possibly getting Skin Shots as a second one.  They are both made by the same publisher and they're really high quality magazines, with glossy photos and extremely good interviews.  I will see if Tattoo Magazine is worth renewing after one year, but so far I think I may not.  It looks good but it's not GREAT and I guess I just got spoiled by Skin Deep.

Rockin' Out

I did a couple of orders at Amazon this week.  I got some CD's my husband and I will both enjoy.  I bought two Bif Naked, one Harry Connick Jr., one Gwen Stefani, one Pink and one Lily Allen.  I sure have come a long way from listening to Led Zeppelin on my Walkman.  I guess we change and grow until we die, don't we.  I never thought I'd listen to Sca, but lo and behold there you go (Lily Allen).  Same goes for Jazz.  I never used to "get" Jazz.  Man was I an idiot!  It's just about enjoying music, there's nothing to "get".

Parrot's driving me bananas.

It's been such a great day today.  My husband had an interview with an old friend over lunch and he's basically "got the job" if he wants a job with this company, which he does.  He has to wait a few weeks while they sort out paperwork, but basically they'll be hiring him in the next month or so.  That's going to be so great for him.  I really am happy for him that he's going to get his career moving forward.  The best part is that the building is located very close to the building he currently works in...this is good for morning drive time.  He only lives ten minutes from work so it was a concern that he would end up working downtown in Ottawa proper.  That would add an extra hour onto his day in driving and that would have sucked.

Closet Monster

Well my husband and I got the closet reassembled and we went through all of the clothing as well and pitched out anything old or whatever.  That makes things a lot better.  My closet now has twice as many supports and we're not letting my dad anywhere near it.  We were up until 3 am working on that.  All because my dad slipped.  It's still the fact that he didn't just say "Sorry, I didn't mean to knock it down like that."  I mean would that have been so bad?  I would have said "No problem, it could have happened to anyone." and we wouldn't be reading about my rant! 

I'm very reasonable but I do think that when you accidentally break something at someone's house, whether they're your kid or not, you should apologize.  Nevermind that it might have been a bit precarious in the first place, the point is that he actually brought it down, and before he came along it was holding all that clothing just fine.  I agree that it wasn't exactly sturdy, but it was in full working order before he knocked it down.  If it had been me, I would have apologized profusely.  Some people have egos the size of watermelons though and that prevents my dad from being able to be the bigger man and just say "Oh sorry".

Moving on to more interesting topics, we were able to get the closet sorted.  Once you have ALL of your clothing on the floor you might as well go through it.  It was time for a spring cleanout anyway, so we sorted and we sorted and we cleaned out a whole pile of stuff I wasn't wearing and never would wear.  It was great to get it all out.  Now I have so much more space in my closet for nice stuff when I feel the urge to buy some.

So with all the closet fixing, and then all the clothing sorting, my husband and I were up until at least 3:00 am.  He must be exhausted today.  Poor guy didn't get to do his reading for his course today either because of the whole "closet fiasco" as we've now named it.  But at least the closet is fixed and the clothing is hung properly after being sorted.  What a huge job.

I can't even believe it

So my parents came by today.  My dad was going to fix that little wheel thingy in the closet door that helps it slide along the track.  The old one was sticking and so it just needed a new springy thing.  Dad got the springy thing and headed out, which was very nice of him.

So my dad was just about to get up on the step stool so he could get a good view of the door, when he lost his balance a bit and started to fall off the step stool.  Rather than use the door for leverage, which would have made sense since it was right beside him, he grabbed the wooden pole that my clothes all hang off of.  You know the bar that your clothes hang from?  Well mine is made of wood.  Anyway, he decides that THAT is the best thing to grab.  I saw the thought processes go through his mind in that split second.  Anyway, he chose the bar and the bar is not the same as in his closet, it's all a very gentle balance with my clothes and this crazy feat of engineering that I had holding up my clothes.  As soon as his extra force pushed on that pole, he bent the metal support brackets underneath and MY ENTIRE CLOSET fell out all over the place.  Then he says "This is your area of expertise, not mine." and lets my mom clean up all the clothes that fell.  She has an injured hand and can barely stand any weight at all on it.

So now my mom has tried to organize all of my clothing.  It's now hanging off an old coat rack and strewn all over the floor in my bedroom.  My parents had to leave and now my husband gets the fun job of fixing the mess my dad made.  What really pisses me off the most is that he never apologized.  He kept saying "You've got quite a problem there...that was never designed to hold that much weight."  It was working just fine until he FELL ON IT.  It's not designed to hold a man who's falling.  Why on god's green earth he didn't just lean on the door like anyone else would have I'll never know.  But the fact that he screwed it up and then sort of threw his hands in the air just infuriates me.  I have MS and he knows I can't clean up that mess.  I'm a neat freak and now my clothing, for which I've spent tons of money and take great pride are all strewn on the floor of my bedroom.  And I can't clean it up because I'm too tired.

I am so buying that Mustang.  I think I better get personalized plates for this one.

The Day After

Well we went out for dinner...my parents and my husband's parents.  It was a nice time.  My dad didn't make a complete ass of himself this time which was pleasant.  He did however take the opportunity to berate me in front of my in-laws because I told him we were buying a Mustang. 

My dad has this idea that since he had a four cylinder red mustang when I was a teenager that I should be "over" my interest in red mustangs.  WRONG.  First of all, I never owned my own mustang...it was HIS.  So right off the bat, I've never actually owned a mustang.  Second, just because they had one and HE's gotten it out of HIS system does not mean that I have gotten it out of MY system!  I have always wanted a "real" mustang...one with the big V8 engine.  Since V8 engines are just about to become a thing of the past, I would like to have one final shot at that red mustang.  I'm just about to the age where I'm going to start looking like a cougar behind the wheel of a mustang, and so I'd really rather have one now than wait any longer. 

My dad got visibly angry when I told him that we were getting a Mustang.  He couldn't understand that sometimes you just buy the car you want.  He had his sports car when he was younger but now that he's finished with that we're all supposed to be "over" it.  I think it's more about jealousy.  I think he's jealous that I'm going to be driving around in that car, young enough to still look good behind the wheel too.  And he's right, you can logically argue against a Mustang any day of the week.  It's not the best car for any reason...I mean it's not the best car for safety, for trunk space, passenger space...it sucks on gas mileage...but you know what, it's a fucking Mustang.  That's explanation enough.  If you don't get it, you never will. 

Burnt

I'm pretty burnt this morning...afternoon...whatever.  I woke up late (around 11:00 am) and I have to get myself all dolled up by supper time for dinner out with my parents and my in-laws. 

We're going out to a restaurant with both sets of parents.  YAY, that's so much fun.  I'm totally being sarcastic.  My dad becomes an absolute idiot when you put him in a room with anyone that isn't family.  When he's with family he's "normal" but when you put him with "non-family" he acts like a complete knob.  One of the very first things he asked the last time we all ate together was this "SO, who are you voting for in this election?"  I was mortified.  My in-laws are very European and they don't talk about politics too much...and they don't discuss religion very much either.  They're very kind and gentle people.  My dad asked my mother-in-law that question before she had even eaten her first bite of food last time.  She was extremely uncomfortable and so was my father-in-law.  He was so uncomfortable that he actually physically turned his body away from the conversation.  It was a subconscious thing but it was obvious that he was wishing he could be somewhere completely different.

My dad thinks that's "social engineering"...like he's controlling the conversation and he wants everyone to know that he's in charge.  It's the equivalent of letting someone drive your car and to show you how much you should trust them, they jerk the wheel to make the car suddenly lurch sideways.  So now you KNOW they could kill you but they want you to know that they're not going to.  Well that puts you at ease now doesn't it.  It's the same thing here.  After he's let everyone squirm about for a few minutes trying to politely answer the question without actually saying who they're voting for, my dad will ease off the pressure and say "Oh I'm just pulling your leg."  Well for one thing, he was NOT pulling their leg, he DID want to know who they were voting for.  Then everyone is so relieved that he changed the subject that they all relax.  That's his theory.  Like he's some kind of psychologist.  My dad is not a psychologist, he makes this shit up as he goes.  The point is that it's a pointless act of pissing all over your house to show that you're in charge.  We already know you can sabotage the conversation any time you want dad, so you don't need to prove it.  I get really tired of his ego needing attention all the time and in these social situations it gets really tiring to be linked with him in any way.  He embarrasses me to no end.

Saturday

We had fajitas for supper tonight...that was amazing.  We had a rather lousy day with both cars breaking down on us...that seriously blew.  Anyway, the Two Bonnies have to go to the shop.  One will be getting a new brake line (it broke).  The other needs so many things, but will settle for a new tire until we ditch it later on this month for a Mustang. 

We decided to get a Mustang GT.  It's not practical and it won't be good on gas, but oh man that baby is going to purr.  I rarely drive and so I don't feel bad having a small car with a big engine.  I drive twice a year sometimes.  The car will get limited use and when it does go out, oh man it's going to be sweet!  My husband's car will be the one we use as a regular car.  It will be fuel-efficient and have all-wheel drive. 

I have always DREAMED of owning a Mustang GT.  Seriously since I was about fourteen years old I've been absolutely in love with the Mustang.  They screwed them up for a while during the eighties but fortunately they have them back on track now.  I adore that car.  I have always wanted one in candy apple red.  I don't even know what it is about that car...it's hard to even quantify.  It's a feeling.  It's about "cool" I know, but it's just so beautiful.  And it's a MUSTANG.  There's something iconic about the name and that badge.  Maybe I'll end up with a pony tattoo somewhere!  We'll see. 

Trying to post

I've been having a tricky time posting.  It's like I get ready, get seated and comfortable and then nothing comes out.  That's odd for me.  Anyone who has ever had to sit with me in a room will tell you I'm not normally at a loss for words!  I guess I am just kind of quiet.  Things on my mind I suppose.

I had a quiet day...did some emailing and some surfing.  I've been into shoes lately.  I think it's seasonal, shoe-shopping I mean.  I think that people naturally shop for different items and different solutions at different times of the year.  Spring must be for shoes.  That's how it is for me...spring and fall is shoes and coats.  Summer and winter are usually more about lifestyle shopping.  So you end up buying swimwear or boots or sweaters but the "fun" stuff seems to always be bought in the spring and fall.

My husband bought me some "Norma Jeans" by L.A.M.B. (Gwen Stefani).  He got them off eBay because I cannot buy directly from the L.A.M.B. site...they won't ship to Canada.  I like a lot of the pants she designs so I have to buy the clothes on eBay if I want them shipped to Canada.  The price of LAMB wear has come down a fair bit.  I think she's figuring out her market.  The people who love her clothes can't afford cashmere sweatsuits for $500...they can however afford cotton.  She's workin' it. 

Anyway, the Norma Jean is a knee-length jean that's got a really cute retro "rockabilly" feel to it.  It says "LAMB" across the yoke on the butt, but it's not obnoxious so I don't mind.  I hate when you see a pair of designer jeans with the name of the designer so prominent that it becomes a distraction.  I want people looking at what's IN the jeans, not the jeans themselves.  I want people to remember that my ass looked hot, not that it was covered in someone else's name.

My husband loves rockabilly.  He likes that sort of old school look of hot rodding and tattoos and the Bettie Paige look for me.  He loves that look.  I'm down with that.  I can pull that look off fairly easily.  I'm hoping to get more of a "Bif Naked" feeling to it though to update it to today's style.  I like the look as well so it's not like I'm doing it only for him...but if it makes him happy I'm happy to do it just for that reason. 

A little more verbose

Well it's now dark outside and I'm feeling much more awake.  I was really a sloth this afternoon.  I felt really drugged.  I guess Gravol hangs out in your system for a long time.  Anyway I'm feeling much more like my usual chatty self and so I'm ready to make a proper post.

So have you seen facebook yet?  It's the latest myspace thing.  It's pretty cool.  You can sort of manage your life from one portal...it keeps it all there for you and for all your friends.  What's neat about it is that it's dynamic.  You can keep track of birthdays, photos, other people's photos of you, websites, things that make you laugh...plus it's what all the kids are doing! :)  What's really cool about it is that you can import a blog into it from somewhere else.

Nothing to say

I'm having a total writer's block today.  Nothing seems worth discussing!  Weird.  Usually I find my own anecdotes endlessly amusing, but today it's all like "meh...can't be bothered."  I guess it would have been just as easy for me to just not write at all, but I actually do want to write, I just seem to be at a loss.

I think it may be because last night I took a Gravol before bed.  It knocked me out but it also made me really groggy for today.  I sometimes need hours to pull out of the haze.  Today I'm still hazy and I've been up for four hours.  Maybe I'll feel like posting more later.  :)

Mouse

Moms can be a pain in the ass

I woke up this morning feeling groggy and tired.  My mom called me and wanted to go out for lunch.  I told her I wasn't feeling well enough.  She gave me a reply that indicates that she's all worried about me.  *sigh*  So now on top of feeling sick, I have to worry about upsetting my mom.  She's a sweetheart of a lady and my life would not be the same without her, but damn she can really get up in my grille.

She has these ideas in her head...like bonnet bees.  She gets an idea that she wants to do something and it's like nothing you can do will stop her.  They're not bad things...like taking me out for lunch is a very nice idea...but when she gets it into her head that she wants to take you for lunch on Wednesday, well it better happen or she's going to be all disappointed.  Then she just starts calling and bugging you even more.  It's insane.  She doesn't know she's doing it either...that it's a pattern.  She puts a lot of pressure on people to make sure she has things happen the way she wants them to.  It gets tiring.  I don't like or need social pressure and the more that people apply, the more I balk at it.  I won't be "cajoled" (which is one of my mom's favourite words).  Cajoling is a way of saying that you "manipulate" people without telling them the whole truth.  That's my mom.  Like I said, it gets tiring.

Anyway, I'm not going to sit here and bash her, I obviously love the woman...it's just difficult sometimes to sort of have that pressure on top of feeling like crap.  I mean some days I can literally barely remember my own name and she's giving me chores to do like "Don't forget your nephew's birthday is coming up, you have to get him a card."  It's extremely draining and I resent the drain on my very limited energies.  I love her and I appreciate everything she does, but some days it's really hard to get her to understand that I'm not well but that my not being well is normal for me and that her worrying and talking to me like I'm dead now is a bit much.  It's like I feel fine with how I'm doing but then she likes to remind you..."Oh it's so terrible that your life is so horribly challenging."  What?  I mean my life is challenging but I don't need anyone's pity...especially not hers.  Being pitied makes me feel objectified by my own mother...like now I'm a "thing".  She was shocked when I started dating again after I found out I had MS.  She was like "You're dating?  I thought you were finished with all of that?"  Like suddenly I should be dead.  Like having MS meant I would stop being human.

The other day she actually said to me "I thought that you might like to volunteer somewhere to fill your days.  See if you can find a volunteer job that will enjoy and I'll drive you."  I was like "WHAT?"  I wanted to slap her and say "Fuck off."  I mean first of all, I'll find my own "time fillers"....second, what is it about me that makes you think that there is any part of me that is interested in doing stuff I was never interested in doing before I got MS.  Like why would I now start volunteering at a soup kitchen when I never would have before I got diagnosed with MS.

My mom means well but she sees me as "My daughter with MS."  That's how she talks about me and she uses the MS as a sort of crutch for me.  But I don't use it for myself so I wish she'd stop.  All she's doing is making me feel like I'm a "thing" that she needs to feel sorry for and treat differently somehow.  It's like she's decided that I'm a certain level of sickness and therefore she's going to take my care under her control.  Wrong, wrong wrong. 

I have a husband.  He loves me and takes care of me.  He doesn't patronize me and he doesn't condescend to me.  He also doesn't see me as "my wife, with MS" ...he sees me as his wife.  I happen to have MS but he doesn't treat me any differently because of it unless I'm actually having problems because of it.  He respects me.  My mother is trying to "baby" me and I absolutely don't appreciate it because it undermines who I am and it makes me feel like I'm not actually able to contribute in any "real" way.  It's like "Here dear, we found a safe little environment you can pretend you're important in and now we're going to make sure you don't ever do anything fun or interesting again."

Pass the arts and crafts, my mom wants me to go hang out with retired old people.  Fuck that.  I'm going to become a tattooist and do what I should be doing.

Quiet evening by the fire

My husband is out right now and so I'm enjoying a quiet evening by the fire, reading my blog and making posts.  I will probably go watch some stuff on the PVR soon though.  I had to take another THC tonight.  It's been a bad few days with this migraine.  Tonight it's not as bad as it's been in days previous though so I'm hopeful that tomorrow I will be okay.

I was thinking about the tattooist thing again today.  I really look forward to learning the technique.  That's all I'm missing is actual technical information on how to actually do the tattooing.  I have a basic understanding of how to break down a machine and how to do a tattoo but I want to really understand every aspect of it so that I can really get good at them.  It's going to take years of doing them as a hobby before I will be ready to move to anything more than that.  That's okay though, I'm not in a hurry.

I wonder who I'll meet as a tattoist.  I bet there will be a lot of interesting people.  Unlike Miami Ink, which is sort of a watered down version of what really happens in a tattoo shop, I will be seeing people who want gang tattoos and people who want their wankers tattooed.  That's the kind of thing you don't see on Miami Ink.  I think the fact that they remove all breast and ass tattoos from the show really impedes the reality of it.  I mean every 20th tattoo or so should be on someone's ass, I would think.  To make it a "PG 13" show they've eliminated all partial nudity.  Let me tell you that every time I've been tattooed I've seen partial nudity in the shop.  It's just par for the course.  (God I hate that saying.)

You know what, I totally hate sports references.  I need to stop and put that down on "paper" somewhere.  The way that sports references are used to explain comparisons in almost any walk of life really annoys the crap out of me.  Sports are NOT universal.  I don't actually know what PAR is, except for what I have learned from the English language, not because I'm a golfer.  I really hate the use of these stupid oversimplifications in almost any circumstance and I am working to remove them from my vocabulary.  I guess I'm not being a team player. :)

Voodoo Girl

Original Link 

Her skin is white cloth,
And she's all sewn apart
And she has many colored pins

Sticking out of her heart.

She has a beautiful set
Of hypno-disk eyes,
The ones that she uses
To hypnotize guys.

She has many different zombies
Who are deeply in her trance.
She even has a zombie
Who was originally from France.

But she knows she has curse on her
A curse she cannot win.
For if someone gets
Too close to her,

The pins stick farther in.

-Tim Burton-

It's so cold!

It's about-40C (-40F) or at least it was that temperature this morning with the windchill factor.  That's cold.  Now it's actually more like -22C (-7F) but it's still extremely cold when you add the windchill.  In fact, it makes it feel like -34C (-29F) when you add the wind.

The parrot is over chewing on my husband's slippers again.  *sigh*  It's easier to just let her.  It gives me five minutes of peace where I can type.  I wish she was more interested in hanging out with me, but she's really more interested in destroying something of his!  When he's home she spends all of her time wanting to be on him, but not really because she "likes" him.  It's more like she finds him interesting and entertaining.  He is not exactly able to handle her and so she still feels like she's superior to him when she's on him.  She likes that feeling.  So when he's home she hardly pays attention to me anymore!  However I am still the object of her actual affection.  He's the object of her ire, and apparently that's more interesting than affection!

I'm losing weight at a pretty good clip now.  I go through these plateaus where I stop losing weight and nothing I do makes it happen, and then I kind of get over the plateau and lose some more.  Lately because of the cold from hell that I had I have been unable to eat anything (when you can't breathe food loses its flavour and becomes too difficult to manage).  Since just getting my ability to breathe and smell back this past week I have been able to eat a bit more food.  I keep losing weight little by little and slowly I'm dropping down in size.  I was a size 16 a couple of years ago after they put me on antidepressants for neuropathic pain.  Once I stopped taking those and got onto the THC my weight came down fairly steadily and now I'm a size 10 or 12 depending on the cut and brand of the clothing. 

I plan to get down to a size six again...or at the very most an eight.  It's not something I "work on"...I haven't really done any exercise in a while because of the colds.  However I used to be an aerobics instructor so I do try to maintain some isometric exercises when I can, even if isotonic ones are probably out of the question for me right now.  Once I get my MS under control I'll get doing some cardio and intensify my walking schedule.  That will quickly remove the last of the weight I'm trying to ditch.  I mean really I only have another 15-20 pounds to lose, and even though they're often the hardest pounds to lose, they'll come off eventually.  I've got lots of time to wait!  The fact is that I'm not eating enough calories in a day to remain heavy for too long, so it's a mathematical eventuality that I will lose the last weight.

Not that I even mind the size I am now.  I look pretty good, a bit of love handles and some extra curves where I don't want them, but all in all I look good and my face is completely slimmed out, so that's nice.  I'm certainly not the type of person who obsesses over my body, and my self-image is pretty good, so all in all I'm not thinking that much about it.  That's why it's just been a gradual loss.  Nothing drastic and no dieting of any kind.  Just me and the natural action of the THC in my system to tend to make me forget about food.  Of course I also have all the side effects to deal with, but that's okay.  The overall effect has been to let me get away from eating out of boredom or out of some emotional response. 

I think they're going to one day develop an appetite suppressant based on cannabis.  Mark my words.  They'll have to figure out how to keep you from actually getting high from the treatment, but once they do they'll be able to use the drug to make an appetite suppressant that will really work.  I'm sure of it.  Wouldn't it be funny if the "cure" for the obesity epidemic was derived from pot?

That's just me pondering the many uses of pot again.  I think that when you're on THC you tend to think that it could cure anything!  It certainly makes you feel that way.  I suspect that Hoodia Gordoni would be a better drug for the obesity problem, but now that Anna Nicole Smith has died while taking it they'll probably take it off the market.  That stuff really works.  As I was saying though, pot tends to make you think that everyone just needs to be on pot in order for them to understand how it will fix everything!  It's flawed logic for sure, but it does make you think that way.  It also makes you think that everyone else needs to lighten up for some reason...maybe they do! :)

Good Night's Sleep

Well it seems like the migraine may become a bit of a problem again today, but I'm hoping not.  I would say that it's gone but there's still this weird tightness around my head that makes me worry it could come back.  Aside from that though I feel much better.  I got a lot of sleep last night and I'm feeling pretty well-rested.

It's already March 5.  Wow, where did the year go already?  We're already almost through one quarter of it.  Seems unbelievable.  I mean especially with my memory issues.  I don't have a lot of memories from the last three months so it's pretty difficult for me to even understand where the time went!  It's like a montage in a low-budget TV show.  I did a few things and if you put them all to music you could have a lame music video!  But it wouldn't be enough to fill three months worth of time.  I think I actually spent the first two or three months of this year sick.

Today my parents are coming by to visit and to help me replace a door in my hallway.  It's being updated with a nice new colonial style door.  That will make it a lot easier to clean than the louvred door we have now.  It will also update the look of the front hallway.  I like the entrance to look nice...it is the first impression people get from your home.  So I'm really looking forward to having that all fixed up nicely.  My dad is a total Mr. Fixit and so he doesn't mind helping us.  My husband isn't good with this kind of finicky work where you have to shave a little off the door, then hang it, see if it's level, then shave a bit more off...it's painstaking work that my dad has done so many times!  My husband is so relieved that my dad is doing it. :)

Quiet Sunday

Well today was a quiet day.  I continued to nurse my migraine with extra THC. I didn't have to take as much extra today so that's good.  I'm hoping to not need any more after tonight. 

My husband is playing on the Xbox 360 and I'm just updating my online content but I really don't feel too chatty this evening.  Actually I haven't felt chatty all day.  I suspect it's the result of three days of taking tons of THC.  I'm just a little quiet now.  It sort of makes you high at first but after a few days of taking extra THC, you just end up mushed out and sleepy.  Fortunately this migraine is almost over now.  I can get back to my old self finally.

Well have a great Sunday.

Migraine continued, but there's a bright side...

Well the bright side to this migraine is that I didn't have to go anywhere tonight.  My husband had to go out to his parents' place to have supper for his mom's birthday.  He's going to be out for a while and since I'm on a lot of THC (too much for social comfort really) I decided it was best if I stayed home.  His family will be dissapointed but that's okay, they'll be fine.  The main thing is that HE is there. 

That not only saves me from the awkward food issue (I have a terrible appetite and often can't eat her food); it saves me another awkward situation.  His mom has invited "friends of the family" to have dinner with them.  The "friends" are actually her daughter and her daughter's husband.  Why do they get called "friends of the family"?  Because her husband (my father-in-law) doesn't know that she had a baby before she met him and got married. So it's my husband's half-sister and her husband. 

Why that's awkward for me is that I'm terrible at lying or covering something up like that.  I make horrible Freudian slips all the time.  I know this woman (the friend) as my husband's SISTER.  I call her that all the time..."Did you call your sister?"  So for me, I see it as my husband's whole family gathered together for a meal.  I have a VERY hard time remembering that my husband's father does not see her as family.  So the chances that I'll say something stupid greatly increase when I take too much THC (to treat my migraine).

So even if I was socially able to play the "game" on a normal day, on a day when I've taken extra THC there is no way I could keep it all straight.  The actual headache isn't the problem at all because the meds took care of it!

Yes it's a very weird situation...believe me, I know that better than anyone.  For our wedding, my husband couldn't invite his sister to the wedding because my entire family knows her as my husband's sister...there would be no way to keep from saying it during the meal or afterwards.  Someone would have screwed up.  So we couldn't invite her.  She understood but she was hurt I'm sure.  It's this crazy lie that has snowballed out of control and I believe now that if someone told my husband's father, the utter humiliation would kill him.  The idea that everyone knew all along except him would wound him in a way he wouldn't be able to take.

Anyway, I avoided that whole situation by having a brain-shattering migraine.  My husband said I was the lucky one!

Music

I really like classical music.  It's just about my favourite, followed very closely by New Orleans style jazz.  I do like some "rock" artists, but most of them are weenie rock artists!  I like Green Day and Good Charlotte.  But I also like Evanescence and some other stuff that's more "rock" than weenie rock. 

Today I noticed something.  I don't have any Bif Naked.  Well that's not totally true.  I have one Bif Naked track on my Buffy CD!  I know, I know it sounds lame, but the tunes on that album were awesome.  Anyway, I really like Bif Naked and I always have.  So why don't I have any of her CD's?  Good question.  I think I'll add some Bif Naked to my wishlist at Amazon or maybe I'll ask my hubby if he has any in those bins of his CD's.  He always surprises me with the music he actually has. 

I believe I'd enjoy driving more if my husband and I could agree on some music.  I am pretty sure he likes Bif Naked.  If not, he'll learn! :)

By the way, my migraine is now totally under control with THC.  It took a couple of extra doses, but I've got it under control now.  It wasn't the most pleasant afternoon with it but I am so lucky to have THC to take for it.  I would be dying from this migraine r ight now without it.

Migraine

I have a migraine.  Man that just blows.  I took an extra THC pill, so I'm good and fried now.  Time to step away from the keyboard!

Crazy weather isn't so bad

Well it's snowing and windy, but Ottawa isn't getting the storm that the rest of the province is supposed to be having.  I think a lot of the worst weather is just passing over us or maybe it's going to come later.  I mean it's not "nice" out if you're driving, but it's only the wind and some blowing snow that would bother you.  It could be much worse.  We aren't getting ice storms which is the main thing. 

In 1998 this city was without power for almost a month in places because of the ice storm.  It will always be known here as "THE" ice storm, as though there was only ever one.  It's just that it was a state of emergency and a lot of people died.  Then it snowed in Toronto a month later and they called in the national guard as an emergency.  They had less than 6 inches of snow but they needed the military's help.  It was pretty embarrassing for Toronto when you consider what Ottawa had just been through. 

The good news is that the entire country still makes jokes about Toronto and needing help in bad weather.  Anytime there's a snowfall in Toronto, Rick Mercer can be heard making fun of them!  Basically Toronto is a bit of a joke in the rest of Canada.  It's viewed a little like the metrosexual capital of Canada.  Canadians tend to pride themselves on being rugged and stoic, but in Toronto people are a little more, um...spoiled.  That's the only way to put it.  Toronto gets to be the butt of most jokes that aren't about the French or the Newfies! :)  They are a feather in our country's multicultural hat, but they sure do love to whine!

Well that's my bit about the weather and the regional slurs of Canada.  I actually have family in GTA (greater Toronto area) and I also go to Toronto to do speeches regarding MS and neuropathic pain and I must admit that it's an amazing city.  The downtown core is pretty nice.  It's dirty compared to Ottawa though and it feels "sad" when I go there...like there's not enough trees. 

I'm big on being near nature though so I think that Toronto just feels wrong in my bones somehow.  I'm fine when I'm in the really nice parts of Toronto, where there are trees and gardens, but when I see most of the city it's like the foliage is an afterthought in so many places.  Ottawa was laid out with gardens and foliage in mind and so it looks a little more wild and free feeling.  Like nature isn't that far away.  You can almost always see lots of trees, even in dowtown Ottawa.  Downtown Ottawa feels like a college campus!  Whereas downtown Toronto feels like a public bathroom.

I'm in bed today, mostly waiting until such a time as I can warm up and get my parrot.  She's in her cage right now, but I should actually go get her so she doesn't start to scream!  Parrots are a lot of fun but they're also a lot of work.  They're a little like two year old toddlers.  They get into everything and they have attitude coming out their ears!

I have an Eleonora Cockatoo, a medium sized member of the Sulphur Crested cockatoo family.  She's white with a yellow crest and has yellow under her wings and tail as well.  She's a fun bird but she's got a lot of personality so you kind of have to entertain her or she can be a mitful.  She loves to hang out on my shoulder and play with my hair, but she's also at times a bit of a jerk.  The good news is that she will outlive me.  I won't ever have to lose her (barring any illnesses etc).  Of course I will have to leave her to some poor unsuspecting family member but that's okay.

Car crapping out

My husband and I both have Pontiac Bonnevilles.  Old ones.  My car is a 1997 and his is a 1996 Bonneville.  Mine's nicer!  It's got leather seats and it's a gorgeous maroon colour for the 40th anniversary of Bonneville which was apparently in 1997.  I had my windows tinted and my car also has the upgraded aluminum rims.  It's pretty much window dressing though...they're both the same in the ways that matter...under the hood.

Last summer my husband's car started leaking coolant internally (a chronic problem for GM's 3.8 L V6) into the engine.  This will eventually cause the engine to seize up and die.  So to curb the expense of getting rid of his car, we sort of stashed his car away for emergencies and he started using my car on a daily basis.  So essentially we traded cars.  Since I'm on THC, driving is something I do very rarely, but being in the country with no bus route, I still need a car here during the daytime, just in case.  So he started using my car daily, something it's not used to!

So now, as Murphy's Law states should happen, my car is now dying as well.  The coolant leak that my husband has in his car is now also a problem in my car.  This is the problem with buying two cars of the same exact type that are one year apart in age!  We didn't plan it this way...we both bought our cars before we were even dating each other.  It just happens that we both liked the Bonneville.

So this spring we have to consider getting at least one new car.  For our main car we want all-wheel drive so that eliminates GM sedans from the lineup.  For my car, we're going to get a 2005 Mustang.  I love what they did to the Mustang that year.  Ever since then they keep making changes to it that I dislike.  So we'll buy me a used Mustang from 2005 and then we'll get an all-wheel drive car for my husband and I to use as our main car.  We haven't decided which one, but it will probably be an American car if we can swing it.  The problem is that there are so few American cars that are all-wheel drive.  They're all rear or front wheel drive and that's just not going to cut it here in the hills.  We've already been left stranded by our front wheel drive Bonneville once this winter because of ice.  If I had been in the car when that happened we might have had a medical emergency with me and my stupid rigours so we don't need to be stranded by our vehicles anymore.

Dog's Birthday

My dog turns 8 today.  He's such a hugely important part of my life that I can't imagine him getting old and passing away.  It's going to kill me when it happens.  But for now he's a spry 8 years old and acting every bit like a five year old dog.  The time flies so fast for them doesn't it.  We barely notice ten years passing, but for them it's the bulk of their life.  I hope that next year I'm still complaining about how crazy he gets in the spring and how silly he is in the evenings.  He's the best friend you could ever ask for...you know, aside from my husband.  But even when my husband and I have an argument, I can always hug my dog.  And besides, my husband is a Leo, but my dog is a Pisces!  Ever since I was a child, all of my "best friends" have been Pisceans.  It only makes sense that he is too.

My "Skin Deep" should be arriving soon.  I love that magazine.  It's such a great resource.  I like to read it while I surf so that I can look up any websites listed in the magazine.  I can't wait until I have a great back piece to send them for their photo spreads.  That won't be for a while.  Back pie ces are really expensive and they're not the kind of thing I can do myself!  I'm hoping that when I get it done I can say it's to celebrate my first "paid" tattoo.  The reality is that it will be a representation of my fight with MS.  That's the only thing big enough in my life to require a back piece sized tattoo.  It will be a sword and a shield, lying disused in some wild flowers.  There will be moss and rust on the sword and shield.  They will represent the disease that cannot be battled head on, but insidiously eats away at your brain and nerves like a rust or a moss slowly destroying you.  The sword and shield will represent my desire to fight it, and the flowers will represent hope for an end to the disease.  The rust will represent the disease itself.  The shield will be adorned with symbols that are important to me in my life.

So they say that March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb.  In my city overnight tonight we're supposed to get a crazy snowstorm.  In a way we're lucky because we're supposed to get snow.  Toronto and the more southern parts of Ontario are going to get 10 mm of ice on everything, followed by windstorms.  That's a recipe for disaster.  Here we're supposed to get very heavy snowfall followed by some snow pellets, but no ice storm.  We're lucky too that it's supposed to arrive overnight so that most people will be off the roads while the plough trucks work.  Should be nice to see some substantial snow, even if it will probably melt in a few days.  That's always the way in March...well during "normal& quot; winters that's always the way.  Who knows what will happen with the climate issues we're having.  Maybe March will go out like a spider monkey instead of a lamb!